1. |
The Human Island Part 3
01:56
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placeholders for souls ache over the phone
about dignity's iniquity and how faith only controls
how grace only controls at face value
sh-bop sh-bop hey
close to some kind of edge
someone else's voice in your head
death strokes your instinct
how faith only controls.
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2. |
Little Deer Girl
02:01
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Little deer girl with broken knees
Hold that expression for so long
It's lost on those it was meant for
Hobbling down the crooked walk
Like a brick smile
Your face is furless
Would it mean a lot for me to say
I don’t understand your pain?
Little deer girl with an autumn coat
And bullet holes for eye sockets
How do you cry when winter cries?
Sighing when they tell you to
Your face unfurling.
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3. |
Èl
02:21
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I wasn't stupid enough to invent the world.
It wasn't the doorbell that made me shiver,
it was the second knock before it.
If you can keep your arms still enough
long enough
he probably won't even notice our breathing.
Your heart isn't always in your chest,
it's a fickle little muscle
that's still as often as it's in motion.
In other news, Christ had more stomachs than a cow.
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4. |
P.O.V.
02:12
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The sky is a harsh pink
mixed with pornographic green.
I wonder when the windshield
will get tired of holding it all up.
You told me the clouds were spaceships
but I'm not retarded,
they're alien exhaust fumes.
I don't try to forget you anymore
I've just gotten impeccable at it.
Have you ever been two places at once?
And what were you wearing?
You don't have to believe in anything,
but it sure helps if you do.
There's no such thing as a proper point of view.
The largest part of your body
does the least good.
Don't waste your life in a hair salon
getting a head massage.
There are red lights
coughing over walls,
turning lust into despair.
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5. |
Dumb Bells
01:38
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Tempting me with seedlings of regret
for heinous crimes I have yet to commit,
your lizard lips smack every thigh in the room.
You're too sober to know I have time to lose.
I'll drain your water freehand
and wait for you to uncross your eyes
even heaven has a weight room
but it's always closed.
Let's take a trip to the quiet part of our minds,
watch "Signs" and dream of being bigger than we are.
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6. |
Other People Think
02:02
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Caught in cross-hairs like the fists of apes,
unable to fulfill our unconscious need to escape.
If we knew what it was we wanted, would we even be here?
I bet you get better reception in a crater of the moon.
I got the dying over with first and then began living.
Forever.
It seems silly to see all this as infinite.
It seems like a discrepancy to only trust your eyes.
You are standing here now.
I am standing here now.
Forever.
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7. |
Easter Sunday
01:22
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Let's drag each other down into this hole.
There's plenty of room for both of us.
I love the smell of dirt mixing with our tinny heartbeats.
I love the sweet reality of physical pain.
I can feel the bones of my ancestors
poking into your ribs and speaking
the languages we never bothered to learn
with mouths sealed by worms.
Return, return, return.
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8. |
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My experience is a lossless reflection of an image.
My ego's mirror smudges itself with spit and blood.
That which does not have a purpose is by nature innocent.
Expectations only smolder, struggling against the weight of ashes.
Do we exist?
Do we matter?
I want to wake up from this fucked up dream.
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9. |
Lathe
02:16
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I'm a flower the color of hell.
I'm red meat carrying no smell.
You're in a room when you're outside.
Still deflecting youth with your mouth wide.
The actual is falling away.
Credibility is your crutch.
Dead complicity in your touch,
Why do I feel the rush to need?
Degradation's enough for me.
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10. |
Fracking
01:23
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I have a wish I wouldn't dare whisper.
These are the hours that repeat
until the sun forgets about the moon.
Every animal on this earth is waiting for the same thing.
We aren't safe here, but that doesn't mean
we don't love every second of our fear.
Where am I?
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11. |
Christian Stuart
03:01
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i destroyed what i became
i had a choice but i did not have a name
when i peeked through your distended frame
i saw a voice that floated like no rain
and on that day
i felt such insecurity
but you took aim
and said you would not play this game
i wore out the most thankless blame
ankles cut by morose, vampiric shame
i was lone; with me you were the same
where the valley'd mouth screamed from no pain
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12. |
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you're not concerned with being on time
you're through convincing them it's all in your mind
nothing's blurred even that which you wish were
knowing that would make it so much easier
you're unlisted but not missing
what's your purpose?
what's your purpose?
and do you serve one in the strictest sense?
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13. |
I Dreamed I Was A Bird
01:37
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Walking on the roof like a bearded man in boots
who always forgets his utility belt in the truck
I closed my eyes and watched the red sun
through veiny eyelid sheaths and felt warmth
on my back and front heavy with living air.
I lost the need for trust.
Listening to the wind whisper,
I jumped above the grills and girls and grass.
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14. |
Freelance Exorcism
02:08
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My thousandth waking life
would be the same as my first
the trees in sequence indistinguishable
watching clouds perform tricks of
desperate middling, carbon copying
the roads and all their yellow dressings.
There is gravel in your lungs,
too, it's just too small to see. But you
can feel it gambling around inside your
front if you lay down on your back
quietly and try not to notice.
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15. |
Grand Cruelty
01:52
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i'm Byron Dean
i live so vibrantly
got a little heart
help me tear it apart
i'm close to free
but you're not close to me
got a little drum
my friend's got a little gun
it's not hard to take
it's just hard to break
down into shreds
i'm not in my head
it's not my element
(i saw you, etc.)
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16. |
Rachel (Noray)
04:00
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why are you afraid of being worthless?
modeling a page to thieve a purpose
crying in a cage, feeling certain
of everything you gave, we were perfect
our secret desires kept secret even to ourselves
like learning how to sleep
a halo on the ceiling slipping down onto the floor
a faceless opening
even now, in hate, we are laughing
holding out on faith to feed the masses
proudly on our way to see the vastness
of a quiet place behind the pasture
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17. |
Pro Skater 900 $$$
02:45
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Take some time to unhinge your mind
You're in a room when you're outside
Think about your eyes and what they wanna see
And when you close them don’t you dare think of me
This is different than anger
So get used to it
You live large in an aero-hangar
With nowhere to sit,
So fly
You’re so fly
Black widow world your web’s not so strong
You were my favorite girl but not for long
While I wait for God you wait at the drive thru
A thousand miles away but still right beside you
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18. |
Wet Fields
01:50
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This type of psychedelic pain
is not for the worst of us
it's more like a circumstance
calling itself to its own attention
I don't wanna see you
I just wanna be you
We were all once see-through
I hope my heart's still beating
for the things that don't bear repeating
like what you're voice felt like
and how your face changed
in the absence of light
My body's innocent
as long as I don't look for stars/scars
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19. |
The Sire Of Autumn
02:58
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With a rustic smile you envelop galaxies, oh
An upheaval of some kind of evil love
Cross that with life, feel crossed up by life
Set on a sight running fast as blood
It's not what you came for, it's what you're leaving with
I wrote you a postcard that you'll never get
From another throat, words that never will amount
To the size of your heart, to the weight of your soul
On a better morn, you'd remember where you are
Seeking out the sire of autumn
Drowning on the same shore, helmet-deep in spit
Floundering in pay-dirt, too legit to quit
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20. |
Valsalva
02:41
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Breathe now that I am not here
and there is no more "we."
How do you know you feel
except when you shirk the invaluable?
Cautious walks toward spacious coffins
laughing like the sun recedes at dusk.
Put faith above
because it can't stay.
Put faith in clouds,
they will always reconsider.
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21. |
Catch Him In Traffic
01:20
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And the rain comes down like pride
splashing all hides, dripping on the inside
leaving cold relented sighs
winded drives are easements for minds
"Pull around" she says
"This is not where he lives"
"Pull around" again
dredging the wells that are her lids
Of the fabled, unwed roads,
slipping slow with passions unknown
where the streetlights meet your brow
beveling the hour's rushed sound
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J Alfred Prufrock Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
contact: cruelestapril@gmail.com
***I have no formal relation to Thomas Stearns***
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